I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
