ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize