i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
