i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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