At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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