There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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