Have you finally orgasmed yet?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
