They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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