just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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