Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
