I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Randomize
