My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
