Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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