I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
