I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
