p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
