Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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