Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize