i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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