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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
