I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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