Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
