I want to have your abortion
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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