We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
