She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just high enough for therapy.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
