So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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