i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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