My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
