he shaved USA in his pubs
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
