i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize