I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
