**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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