She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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