Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize