I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
