are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
