if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
