You're my little dorito
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
