Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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