All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
