No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
