I've blown a few things in my day
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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