Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
