I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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