You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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