so that wasnt chicken after all
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
