Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
