For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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