a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
