meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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