we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
