Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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