PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
