yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
