I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
