I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
